I will always remember Dr. Goh Chee Leong’s class on his advice about relationship. “You are only ready for a relationship when you are a fully developed person. Only when you are a complete as a person, you will flourish in a relationship.” That piece of advice influenced me till this very day. As opposed to many popular belief, people find a partner to complete them. To fill in the void where their weakness are. But this not true. YOU are responsible to making yourself complete and be better. If you depend on your other half to fill in your void, when will you grow? What happens when he/she leaves you? This is where some people end up 要生要死 because their other half left. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean you shouldn’t have feelings when your other half left, but you should not think it is the end of the world without your other half. Now the logic becomes easier if you are a fully functioning and complete person when you meet your other half. So it doesn’t matter with or without the other, you are still a capable person – able to live life to your fullest potential.
So ask yourself, are you complete as a person? What are your weakness? Do you constantly need someone to validate you, to brush your insecure self-esteem. Is there a part of you that you think you need to improve? Maybe you want to be a better leader, maybe you want to be more happy, maybe you want to be more confident. I can tell you this, nobody can do it for you – except yourself. Some roads are meant to be walked on your own feet. If you expect someone else to do it for you, you will forever be dependent on the other. Then, when will you grow? Even if the other half don’t mind doing all these for you – what if, along the way some tragedy brings him away from you, will you be able to survive? Never depend your happiness upon others. Your happiness should not be completed by others.
Now the question comes, “Then why do you need a relationship when you are a fully functioning person?” This is the part where I mean finding someone who complement you. Recently I came across an article. It says when you are a complete person, you are like a person who walks on a street. You could walk without a walking stick, you are capable too if you want to run, and you are comfortable walking alone. Yet, if you have a partner, you could do more. Perhaps you dare to run faster, and take chances. Because if anything fails, you know someone will be there for you. Perhaps he is your cheerleader when you in doubt, he is your caretaker when you fall sick and perhaps a confidant to listen to you as you walk on the lonely nights. Therefore, your other half, is that icing on the cupcake, sauce for your sushi, which complement you. With or without, you are a completed piece of meal. If this person never appear or left, you still able to live to your fullest like everyone else.
Take charge of your life, live to your fullest potential and most importantly – be happy.
Melissa's Muse 