Do you believe if long distance relationship (LDR) will work? Like it or not, I have been on LDR 100% of my date life. FML. So, being a pretty pro-LDR girl, here are some of my thoughts about it:-

Mentally and Physically Independent

I remember when Shian was dating his university sweetheart from Sabah, he told me how his girl complained about him not present when she needed to move to a different house, while he was busy working in KL. Pretty much, if you're expecting your other half to be like the scene Song Joong Ki kneel down tied Song Hae Kyo's shoelace type, being the hero whenever you in trouble then LDR is not for you. Pretty much 70% of the time, you expect to do many things on your own even you have a boyfie. Simple activity like shopping, lunch, driving - you have to do it yourself. Are you able to date yourself and the other virtual half most of the time? He could only be there for you - mentally. And I guess it perhaps frustrates the guy too, when he could not do much to save his damsel in distress, just about any simple thing, like driving her our for supper. Ask yourself, could you live with this? Pretty much, you both emotionally depended on each other, but physically independent. 

Trust

Due to the distance, trust play a very important role in the relationship. To leave no space for imagination and also build confidence in each other, both party have to make conscious effort to keep the other updated about  their whereabouts and who they hanging out with. For me, I mostly lean towards guys who are responsible and sensitive. Mostly, they would take initiative to tell me first what they're doing or their plans for the day, then I would in return would also do the same to them. To me, that is important. It gives me a piece of mind and be confident with whatever task at hand. How often you need to do that depends entirely on the need of your partner. Perhaps more needy and early part of relationship will need more, and could substantially reduce to a frequency that both are comfortable.Well, if you want to jump into a LDR make sure you are able to commit to such "reporting" and do not feel burdened by it. As for the rest of the cheating part, I guess there are many ways to go about checking the other, but for me there's no meaning in the relationship if you have to constantly spy, check on the other. We are not cop and thief to begin with. 

Creative

Now with the constant reporting and no mutual activity nor mutual friends to talk about, slowly, conversations will dry up. Soon, will be the same old same old reporting, "Gah I'm so tired telling you about my friend who you know nothing about!" or "Zzzz why tell you when you couldn't do anything about it!" -mentality start mushrooming here and there. Slowly, you find your LDR text no longer give you that butterflies you always craved, your shiny virtual boyfriend becomes that old dusty radio that you wish there's a shut up button. Therefore here's when creativity comes in. In order you LDR couples to thrive in this trying times, both should learn ways to create some mutual activities, interest and likes togather. For example, watching a movie togather, going for some activitiy at the same time - different location, or planning the next get togather. In that way, dating LDR could be even more exciting than having someone physically closed to you. 

Indeed, being in LDR for the longest time in my dating life, there are certain perks such as freedom. Basically because you spend lesser time being togather, you spend more time for youself. Doing things you like, growing yourself futher, etc. Think, living a life like a single, but actually you have a boyfie.

Regardless, I think LDR could not be sustained for a long long period of time. Yeah, they’re fun and all, but not practical. Especially for those who want to settle down eventually. And most of the time, you lost chance of trying to live together, observing the person more (how they interact with other, how they handle troubles, etc).

The other day when Mr. Y asked me the question weather I’m comfortable with the idea living apart after marriage. I wanted to tell him I’m not OK with the idea. Since I do intend to have children in the future, I could only imagine how hard it will be for a pregnant woman to live without her husband by her side. Yeah, dating time, I could be as independent I want to be, but when I’m pregnant and vulnerable, I want to have my man by my side taking care of me and going through this process togather, physically. I want the someone to carry by bag, drive me around, pat my back when I could not sleep etc. Is this request too much? How come it felt to hard to have what I want?

Even for the dating part, I’m now not sure if I want to spend another long long time with my other half being apart. I want physical closeness. I want to be the girl who got to be driven around town, that girl who eats sushi with her boyfriend after work, or this couple who play badminton togather. Even walking my dog togather puts a smile on my face. If I could and I hope my next relationship would not be in another long distance relationship. In that case, should I stop being in contact with Mr. Y? Where am I heading in this relationship? Am I playing with fire? In the end, I did not answer him the question.