Month: December 2020

Why you should announce your divorce / breakup on Facebook

As we bid goodbye to year 2020, here are some of my year summary:

1. Went through break up, and survived

2. Played most badminton matches

3. Took up painting

4. Learnt read & write Chinese characters

5. Did not die nor contracted from Covid

For 2021, lets soldier through!

My subtle yet dully Facebook post on 31st December 2020

Facebook is a good place to announce that you are dating someone, getting married, having babies, all the goody news, but it may also be a good place to announce unfavorable news like divorce or for my case, a break up.

Here’s to why I think people should announce their relationship status on Facebook when they broke up with someone.

  1. Shut them up
    • If you’re like me- high profile couple, who love posting photos of your boyfie, about your travels, datings and couply musings on regular basis, most likely some of your friends would come to ask about you and HIM when they sees you. If you’re like me, hate explaining things all over again to friends, announcing your breakup through Facebook, would stop people from asking you about him
  2. Cut the guessing game.
    • Guilty myself, I sometimes stalked my friend’s Facebook page when I don’t heard anything from them about they and their boyfie / hubby. I would start stalking their FB or asks friends around like, “Are they still together or not”, try to read beyond their facebook posts to guess if they’re still together, or comb through their photos to see traces of evidence. And the worst case scenario, is you don’t want people to start spread rumors about you.
    • Yes, I got dumped. But at least I’m not seen as the unfaithful smug, or the one who give up easily. Dear Ben, you are a man of few actions and many shit. At least, in the eyes of people who didn’t know me, they knew I deserve better. Sorry, if you got dumped, you are the stronger one.
  3. Alighting possible suitors they’re next
    • Just perhaps, there’s someone out there who has been looking out for you, but you’re not available, maybe it’s time to give them a signal to the one who got unnoticed.
    • Or even better, your friend would most likely think of you when they wanted to recommend a suitable bachelor they’d known who’s looking for someone too. I mean, common’ at this age, 30+, I start to lose hope on cyber dating as they come with many scammers, just put me off. My only best bet of meeting another is through friends’ recommendation. At least, he’s another chap, that you’re uncle prolly know or your friends may have rubbed shoulders with him.

P/S: It appears that it wasn’t me who’d got into this shit in 2020, seemed like many couples suffered similar fate as do I as written in this post: 2020 Caused ‘Breakup Wave’ in Malaysia, KL and Selangor Records Highest Breakups

In the news, what caught my eyes was this:-

After analysing new user data, they found that the greater number of them are:

Female medical staff members, with teachers and tour guides coming in in second and third.

Among them are also foreign men who are either engineers, those working in the financial industry or those working in the legal industry.

The surge of people flooding the cyber love space, gives me uncomfortable feeling. If you too, just break up in 2020, my advice is NOT to start looking for love in this place. You prolly gonna meet another poor soul to get over his/her ex.

I felt that after a breakup, finding a new love to heal is not the right way. My advice is, don’t rush. Spend time to yourself, be comfortable on your own skin, build and invest to yourself, till you’re truly ready. Then only talk about meeting a new person. If you rush into the next, your next prolly will end like the last.

Happy Christmas!

Its been a wonderful holiday to me. Yes, is Friday, some of my colleague complained why is on a Friday when they have to go back to work tomorrow. Well, to me, a holiday is syill a holiday.

Today i got to do some of the things i really been looming forward to do much, that is painting, reading and running! Glad I got to do them all today!

Painting:

Little snowman

My first watercolor doodle from something Christmassy. And something little comfortable

The study of an eye from Yong Chen, watercolor

Then as I got more comfortable, I moved on to painting something more realistic. I am not courageous enough to draw with watercolor yet, so I outlined it with my pencil first

Minimalist Boho Chic Art with Acrylic

I just bought a 30x30cm canvas, so I tried to paint something which I could use as a decoration in my room. Turns out acrylic is not yet my forte. Bought a few more canvas to explore on acryllic pouring in the coming days

Reading:

The Love Market, Marina Ashade

This book caught my eyes when I was browsing for Lillian Too’s 2021 calendar at Popular. Basically, it is a book about the economics and to spice things up, sex. Interesting, but Im still reading into it

Running:

My run progress so far as on strava

I realized my optimal running and anaerobic performance is better when I did Galloway’s Run Walk Run strategy. However, my total pace is slower. Hm, Im still testing on it. Regardless, I am definitely running faster a montj ago. Im a happy girl, yippeee

My running pace when i first started

Day 32: Love Scam

Recently, I heard that a friend got scammed in a relationship. The person uses a videoto extort something out of him. But since he mention things about “love” “video” “shameful” “extort”, could have easily draw the lnes about what it is roughly pointing to.

But lets not infer and talk about meeting someone with pure intention to get to know you, is getting more and more scare. Like how Yuna told me nowadays her Tinder date has been someone who wants to sell her insurance. Geez, this is so gloom. How are we going to meet someone if out theres so many people with bad intentions? The

When love happens, brace it. But take it with caution. I live in a age where 60% of my friends are not in a relationship lest married. Are the next population be made up of mostly single adults?

Meeting someone is really tough at this age of digital, which bring information at fingertips yet divide people apart

Day 31: Bitch it right

Today I have the courage of the century to call off a bad behavior of a staff. She has been showing bad examples to others, since I dont know when. Didnt learn to speak softly to superiors.

Especially ever since my dad asked her to stay back, she become more daring to climb over head. Helllo, whos the boss here.

And even when she wants to say sorry, she say it in a way to bring me down along. Like, to justify her behavior, she consider my behavior is bad. Hello,

1. Others bad behavior dont justify your bad behavior as right

2. And pls dont equate your boss behavior to you. Because, essentially, you are the employee. Not me.

In addition, I never speak above her infront her staff, what gives her right to do so? What, you want to show others you are above me? Sorry, i pay your salary. Not the other way round.

Bitch, please

Day 30: 1 month since breakup

My first monthiverysary after broke up with Ben. I have yet to think what excuse to tell someone when they asked me about him. I think the easiest explanation for people to comprehend my also very difficult to explain situation is that he had an affair.

But that wouldnt be fairto him, no? If I say, he realizes that he suddenly needs to stay in Singapore or prioritize his work over me, that seem to be a relevant and reliable person. Do I want to paint him in that color?

But if i say he has affair, dont that give people to pity me or I make such bad choices? Fuck, I fucking hate you because you leave me in such difficult position, you are definitely idiotest or the idiots.

Enough with your miscalculations in life. I hope you miscalculated more in life included the fact youare born.

Breakup Day 29: I fucking need to pee!

Mickey sleeps whenever I go

I remember when Mom first learnt about my break up with Ben, she starts to loosen abit about the rules to allow Mickey into my bedroom. I remember I felt less sad that night, when she was in the room. Looking at her sleeping soundly into abyss, was such a calming scene. 29 days down the road, now she’s almost a resident to my house.

Well, I guess it is true, when people say when you loose something, you gain another.

To encourage her good behavior, every morning, I will potty train her in the garden. We make sure she poo poo only in the sandy and not thr grassy or garage area. To our surprise, Ghalit, the other dog also followed Mickey good behavior. It is a good sign.

Besides, the fact that I sometimes have to wake up earlier to bring her to poo, I have to wake up extra earlier too. I start to understand her little behavior such ad when it is “I am bored, so I come to disturb you”, “I need to pee” and “I fucking need to pee!!”

Breakup Day 28: Brother had epilepsy

Today brother had an epilepsy attack. It has been more frequent of late. Im sad to see him suffer so incontrollaby. For a moment, I think breaking the wedding with Ben was the right decision. I need to be with oth my family, they need me and I cant just leave everything behind and run with him to Singapore just like that. Most of all, my family need a man not a child who is naive about business. He should at least understand about the real world. Not “oh, maybe I want to start my own cafe or my own business after I come Kuantan” without considering the risks.

It is always the best decision to make to put family first. Like how 九王爷 said, family are like roots, they will bloom after winter.

Breakup Day 25: It takes a man with bigger heart to love you

We are living in a age where women can self sustain, have a career instead of staying at home. At some point in life, she might or would’ve earn better than the man. How do we balance the power play here, where traditionally a man would be the breadwinner to the house.

I have been watching the drama series, The Crown. I can see how difficult was it for the Duke of Edinburough to kneel before the Queen. For love, she took his career, his name as well as his pride. It takes a confident man to carry all that. A man had to be self suffice and understand that the women may not depend on him for financial needs, decision making.

Suffice to think Ben did not has what it takes to be self suffice. He need to feel he’s the provider. BUT, i really do not depends on him that way. I only needed him emotionally to be present not giving me SOLUTIONS all the time, when I didnt need one.

Dear men, we women just need your listening ear, to let us fret it out. Simple as that. By doing so, it doesnt make you lesser.

Breakup Day 24: It’s been raining lately

I have a natural talent. That is to tell if its going to rain or if the air is too humid. Somewhere when I was still in highschool, YiWon’s mom once told me, if a drop of rain fall directly on your head, you’ll definitely get headache. I guess, that was when iI started to notice I DO GET HEADACHE whenever it was about to rain.

This situation reminds me a highschool movie I used to watch where there’s this girl could foretell the weather using her boobies, and well, in my case my head.

Since the weather is raining, Mickey has been spending waaay to much time indoor. Sleeping on the door mat with a curtain above her seems very much comfy. It is her favourite nook now. Taking the opportunity of her sleeping in my room, I could potty train her the next day. As she definitely bugs me to let her to take a pee outdoor.

Not entirely bad, and thats how I convinced dad to let her stay indoors. I hope the future person I meet would love dogs as much as I do and perhaps allow Mickey to sleep in the same room.